valentine's day

valentine's day is a day in which i want to hate but can't help but not hate it. it's a day filled with an expression of love for someone, which should be given every day. except on this one day everyone is supposed to do it. i think why i am upset with today is because i don't have that right now. it is something i really want, i really want that void filled again in my life. it has been a very long time since i have wanted the void to be filled, literally more than a year. today was an odd day. after last evening i was up until about 7am. i went to be and woke back up at 1pm with many messages from family and friends showing their concern for a situation that they had no idea about. i easily left home by 2pm because i could not deal with it anymore. i got back in ypsi at 3ish then by 330 was sleeping until about 5 or 6. then woke up had a small sandwich and began reading exit here. then i decided to sleep again. maybe it is today, maybe it is what happened last night and although this was not my worst day ever, it was up there. i really hope tomorrow as well as this week will shape up to be better. i have a reason to wake up in the morning but i want more than just to breathe.

!2:10