i know this is bad, but lately i've though about life. i don't feel like i drink too much but friends as well as my body tell me different. my stomach as of late has been terrible. from what i gathered it is an ulcer. everyone says get it checked out.

but to be completely honest, i'm scared. i never get myself checked out and if you know me well then you realize im constantly in pain whether it is my knee my back or my throat. my dad died at such a young age and he knew about it. granted he lived a life like most would want, not thinking about it and knowing full well he'd never see us grow up. granted his was probably different than mine, but i am still scared as all hell. if i die young i dont want to know it is happening. i love my father's choices for being with us always and doing everything he could, but i dont know if that could or is me. frankly i am just scared.

!2:10