appearances are misleading..

so i got the job at radio shack. am i happy about it absolutely not. i in some ways am forced to take this job. i know i should be thankful for having a job in this economy, but of course i am not. maybe it is my pessimistic views on life, or maybe it isn't. i feel like i have always been pessimistic no matter what situation is at hand. i am unsure at this point if that will ever change. or if i really want it to change. because when you start to think of everything as bad than you aren't let down when that happens. if you are always high on things being great, than it is a bigger let down.

i had to go home today to get a cat scan on my head. the reason being for this is that i get headaches on a daily basis, and no matter what i do they really don't go away. i am sure it is nothing, but what if it is? that in some ways scares me.

i'm still extremely stressed and i do not see a clear end in sight for that stress to discontinue. it really sucks, i wish things would shape up and that things would change and go back to what they used to be. but the reality of that is definitely uncertain and at this point does not seem to be able to occur.

i guess in other words i am just not happy. who knows

!2:10

The Return

I have come into some information today, that one of my favorite bands, blink 182 is coming back and better than ever. this band although not my all time favorite band, launched me into every band that i have listened to to this day in the punk/emo type genre. they have done wonders for me and have created a huge branch almost like a family tree for me and my listening tastes. i am so greatful that they are coming back and can't wait to see them in concert and listen to their new music.

in other news i have been watching a lot of movies lately, oscar time means a large quantity of dvd screeners. so far i have seen Gran torino, tropic thunder, religulous, milk, rachel getting married, the wrestler, doubt, and possibly more but i cannot think of them off the top of my head at this moment.

Gran Torino, was very well made and makes Eastwood stil llook like a bad ass, however his grunting is kind of weird.
Tropic Thunder was very stupid, but funny and i would like to see it again. Downey Jr. has come back!
Religulous was like a Michael Moore film, completely one-sided but still very informative and makes you think.
Milk was a film i might not normally see but glad that i have. i knew nothing about him, had i known more i would be able to make a better judgement
Rachel Getting Married, was another movie i might not normally see, but it was pretty decent and gave a good insight into what a family really is. i still am indifferent about it for some reason though.
The Wrestler was a decent movie given how much i've watched wrestling and read about it, it gave an accurate portrayal of people and what they will do to get back into the big time again.
Doubt was a decent movie but also left me with various questions. it was implied that he did it, but did he? makes the crowd wonder. and Streep well she played a good bitch!
taken was a decent movie, but i'll take a quote from Bowditch in that it was hard to see Nessan* as a bad ass. he just wasn't fit for that role.


that is all for now.
!2:10