today was a decent day. a change if you will. i finally purchased my own bed with cash. it was a goal i had from the beginning of the year and im glad to have accomplished it before may. i just wish sometimes someone would lay in the bed with me as it is getting kind of boring. !2:10

i want to be something, but i feel mostly ill fail like i always have. its hard to relect on things and realize they werent great. my life living alone was bad. never enough money. and now i know the value of money and it makes me that much upset. i want nothing to do with money. i just want to be out of debt. and i want to just be ok for a bit. 3 months would be fine. if i was ok for 3 months with very little worries i think id be better off. im tired of the everclimbing ladder that i can get to the next step of.

!2:10