?

my uncle passed away. maybe he was a cousin to which we called an uncle. he was 98. in 98 years of a life, one can't help all the stories he went through. if 98 or like 88 yrs ago he could have a blog. would you want to read it? i hope if i ever make it to 98, 88, 78, 68, 58, 48, 38, or even 28 that people when i die can read everyhting i ever had to write. i remember in 8th grade writing a letter to myself and it said "i hope you make it to read this in 12th grade." i read it as a senior and my heart dropped. death is such a crazy fucking thing in life. i've never been afraid to die. death has never scared me. alls i know that when i go, i do not want a struggle. or if i am a vegetable for lack of a better word. that i won't be revived. i've struggled through my life for as long as i remember. and if shit happens it does. i doubt i'll ever do anything to hurt myself physically again, but at time mental things hurt just as much. id love so much to be happy for years and years. i want so badly to have a child or two and take care of them. live past they were six, to show them what i always have missed. if i die tomorrow cool. but if i don't i want to be the most amazing father. for once i have never been scared of consequences of things i do. i just want to be happy at some point. today sucked tomorrow will suck thursday will suck. i wish that when shitty things came in threes that good things came in those as well.

!2:10