2009

2009 has been one of the worst years i can remember. not much good happened, but i will now reflect on the good and bad.

the good: the many trips i took. i got to go to chicago for the first time and see the cubs and brand new play. i got to see them 2 consecutive nights which was a first for me. i went camping with the rth crew organized by mr. john walsh. that was probably one of the most fun and drunken trips, although chicago has plenty more stories. i also went to cleveland which was another first, to see the browns raiders and it has its special meanings but hands down chicago was the best. i also got to go back to hessel for consecutive years which has been a while. i branched off of friends like bowditch and met more of his friends and became close with them. i also became better friends than i could ever imagine with damie javis. i got to see my niece turn one and get to watch her grow up. finally i moved into a place by myself. i could not be happier with my choice of residence and the way i chose to decorate it. i also got a tattoo that i have wanted since my dad passed on. it takes up the majority of my left leg and i love it.

now onto the bad: we can start at the beginning, 2009 was rang in with my now ex gf and other friends in an awkward fashion. i can now reflect that it was a minor omen in my future of 2009. i also was broken up with, and looking back i handled it wrong and certain things made that situation worse than what it should have been. my biggest thing is i met a lot of fun people through her and i rarely talk to them anymore. but i guess that is what happens. i have had to switch back and forth between jobs. cabelas then radioshack then back to cabelas. i was fired from radioshack for what i believe non-probable cause which can be debated forever. i have realized the value of money and without my mother helping me i would not be in the apartment that i am currently in. i also feel like i have grown apart from many whom i went to high school with. i know i see them whenever i come home but it is slightly different now. i mildly blame myself.

so what will 2010 bring me? going into 2009 i didn't have any goals i will not call them resolutions for the strict fact that these will be accomplished throughout the year. my first and foremost goal is to graduate. it has been 4 and a half years since i started and i will finish in may with a degree in political science. what will i do with it? fuck if i know. but i want to go to grad school to continue and get an mpa with a business administration certificate. i also want to find a job that will pay the bills more than what i am now. i want to pay off my major bills so that i do not have to screen my phone calls to see which bill collector is calling. i know many people say that they will lose weight, however i am determined to be a more healthy person in 2010. my reason for this? have u seen me lately ha. i will continue to see my niece and nephew as much as i can so that i can aide in their growing up and shaping of things. i also am extremely excited for the new davis baby to arrive in late february. hopefully i can be the uncle to him as my uncles were to me. it will be awesome to watch little davis grow up and he is my first friend with a baby coming. big changes lay ahead for rob or bob and i hope to see all of you there for those changes. cheers to 2010 and goodbye to 2009.

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rants.

i realize that the last post i did was roughly three months ago, and as i have been busy it is no excuse to ignore this blog. i am literally 20 credit hours from graduating with a political science major and a public administration minor. the contstant theme within people i see is " what will you do with this degree?" i have been pretty restrained with my responses, however the ones that ask i tend to think " something more than you, actually having a college degree" or "what most people do with their degrees, nothing." but i tend to say i'll probably go to graduate school. they then ask for what, if i were to say an mpa (master of public administration) they would look at me like i am a ghost. i tend to say a master in public administration and people say the same question as before, and i say with a focus on business management. i tend at this time, to just walk away. people who generally ask me this question have never been to college, and although they are aunts, cousins, and uncles of mine i can't help but think blank thoughts of this. i do not think i can look at these family members and say what i truly wish to do. although i want to graduate with an mpa, i do not have any idea what i want to do. the fact that these members of my family bring it up is often rude in my eyes. i do not ask you what you are doing with your life (if you have kids or not) so do not ask me. simply seem interested in my interests as most do not. ask me what my dream job would be, i can honestly agree that my dream job is not working at cabela's for the discounts i can give you. maybe think before you talk.

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my paper on health care

Reforming a Broken System:
Healthcare in the United States
When a person is sick, has a broken bone, or needs yearly tests done, why do they cringe at the fact that they have to go to the doctor? Because chances are they are part of the one-third of American adults that do not have a regular doctor. They are probably also part of the 46 million people that do not have health care in the United States or about 15% of the entire population. The U.S. is one of the most industrialized countries in the world, yet the healthcare system is one of the worst in the world. In 2005 over 600 billion dollars was spent on healthcare, yet 46 million do not have healthcare insurance of any kind. To show how much 600 billion dollars is, it was roughly one-fourth of the federal budget in 2005. Clearly there is a problem here. Reform is needed in this aspect of the U.S. because people are dying or avoiding getting serious help because they can’t afford it.
More and more people are dying each year from the lack of healthcare. Growing up my mother did not work for a number of years, and it was just my mother, brother, and I. she used to pay privately for health care at roughly 1000 dollars per month with a co pay of 15 dollars per office visit and a 1000 dollar deductable. Most people cannot afford to pay 12,000 dollars per year for healthcare, especially in inner cities and for older people. Even if one pays just themselves that is still approximately 333 dollars per month for just one person. Since then my mother has insurance through her work for her and myself. She now pays roughly 200 dollars per month for her and I, which is a substantial decrease from what she paid when I was younger. Before she was able to gain insurance through her work, she was paying 95 dollars for me through young adult blue with a 1000-dollar deductable and 20-dollar co pay. During this time I was rushed to the emergency room and then had to stay in the hospital for 4 days. This roughly cost my mother 3500 dollars because it was not covered by the insurance. Yes there was some type of payment plan, however most people could not pay this on their own. Here in lies the problem. Insurance costs are way to expensive for the normal person without insurance, or with some insurance that does not cover everything. Fortunately I had some type of health care but for others that is not the case. I wish to explore why people can’t afford coverage or why people choose not to have coverage based on their need. I also want to know first hand what goes through people’s minds within the system itself.
Is a universal healthcare of sorts the right step towards reform? Some say yes, because of the rising number in uninsured Americans. The opposition typically believes that it is not the government’s duty to provide insurance for all and that insurance for all is a step towards socialism. The reason most are opposed is because of the country to the north of the U.S. Canada. They currently have a universal health care system, and the opponents of reform see that system as broken. They also do not want to pay taxes for other people’s health care. Opponents believe if the costs were lower, that more people could afford it, and that government need not step in. Another belief associated is competition. Competition typically drives the cost down; right now in our current system competition is only within each state. However, if it were competing nationally instead of states, then costs would be lower. Finally, some opponents believe that taxing others who can afford it for people who can’t is not right and is a violation of America’s policies. I wish to further get information on people, which are for or against a healthcare reform. The people who are for I want to find out what exactly they wish to reform and how they would go about reforming it. For the opposition I wish to gain insight if they believe that there is no reform needed, I must get answers as to why reform is not needed. If the opposition feels reforms are needed, then again which reforms and how would one go about reforming.


i welcome any and all feedback thanks.

6 ft under

no matter how many times i watch the series finally of six feet under, i always feel compelled to write an entry. today was father's day, had it not been for the status updates of people on facebook i may have not known that it was father's day. i just never celebrate it any longer for obvious reasons. i know alot of people still do even though their dad's are deceased. however, i have always been different i don't go to the cemetery but once every few years, i know exactly where it is at. my 21st bday may have been the last time i went. do i think i am a bad son for that? absolutely not, i remember him in my own way daily, whether it is a quiet remembrance in my head, or a the porring out of alcohol as a little one for the homies type thing. i appreciate him daily, and appreciate everything that he left to my family and i, and as another year passes and my birthday inches closer, i no longer hate my birthdays, i used to just despise them because of the closeness to that of my father's. but now i look at it to rejoice, maybe it is the alcohol that helps me celebrate it. but literally everything i have in my life is because of him, because of my mom as well because of the job she did raising me, but he left us with so much that i can never put into actual words. i don't say this often but i love you dad, i love you mom, i love you.
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farts.

maybe as a child i was spiritual, but no longer am i. i never have been since i made my confirmation, however i still think sometimes shit happens for a reason. i recently moved by myself more than a month ago. and i can't tell how many compliments i have gotten. from my friends back home, to hot girls living underneath me. either way i lucked out and at that aspect i believe in some ways....so thanks dad...whoever...anyome or anything. i have become more happy in the past few months than i have in years. i am finally on my way. maybe it is the drinks that have done that to me and whatnot but i am glad i am where i am and although i miss things in my past, i really wouldnt trade them for where i am now. that can stay true for everything in my past, i miss many things mostly including ex girlfriends, but i guess what people say is true that i am better off without them. i am glad where i am. and lately, honestly everytime i go home i want to see my niece and before i never was like that, i love my little lilah bug and if for nothing else i can see her grow up and i can't wait for that. yes i can see ethan grow as a child,but i get to see lilah grow from nothing to something someday. i love both of my nieces and nephews, but knowing fullwell that my niece survived a lees jean is something so special...and it also helps that everyone that sees her thinks she is amazing. ethan on the other hand everyone that knew me as a child knows that he is basically me but in a different generation. and i am ok with that, but forewarn most people becuase of that and hope they can deal better with it.....man i am so looking forward to my nieces and nephews growing up, however i want another nephew another christopher wallis V so that i dont have to name my kid that and can go with robert anthony lees jr. to continune traditions.... man i am in a good place, and it may be the drinks but " a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts".

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b u tter is the name.

been a little. it has been nearly a month or so since my last post. alot has changed, i have moved into a new place by myself. i am all situated and happy that i have a decent apartment. i turned in the keys to the old apt. may 31st, and i was sort of sad about it. it was a great apartment i had a great year there, and an amazing roommate. i would not change any of that time for the world. it was small and it was an adventure. the new apt is a little bigger when it comes to living room space but the bedroom is extremely tiny as is the bathroom. my little niece has now turned one, and everytime i go home and see her i can't wait to see her the next time. i am glad to have that little lady in my life now. it keeps me going with her beautiful smile. life has changed drastically, i have in a way gone back to what i was right as i moved up to ypsi, the typical drinking college student. which is not a bad thing nor a good thing either, i feel like i downgraded by doing this instead of growing up like the path i was on. but then again the path i am on now was never the path i once thought. school is finally almost done well my 1 class is. and i cant wait to just enjoy the summer. it is not an extremely hard class by any means but i just want to not be in school so i can work more or do stuff. i have a lot of fun things planned in the coming weeks. i am going to the tigers game sunday with the newlywed and jamie and possibly others. then, getting brand new tickets, and hopefully blink 182 tickets. then getting more tigers tickets and just i think this summer could be a very great summer and i am excited to explore it. my life is looking up in some areas but it is like one of those old school scales as one part goes up the other goes down. i need to find the balance and once i do it will be all smooth. maybe i am young, but at this point i do not care in the slightest. i just want my real life to start and not have to deal with bullshit jobs or bullshit school or deal with stupid drama that a high schooler would do. here's to my summer.
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television

i have been attempting to fall asleep for the last half hour or so and am unable to do so. this is because of the things that are on my mind. my main thing is that of television shows. it could be because of the scrubs season or series finally tonight. and i will elaborate on that.
there are very few television shows in which i can safely say that i have watched from start to finish. i can say i probably watched full house, boy meets world, and saved by the bell as a child or young adult but i am unsure.
last summer i started a mild quest, that of watching tv series from start to finish.
my first endeavor and still greatest to this day was that of six feet under. it was my favorite series ever, the ending was amazing and the storyline got better every episode.
i have since started watching such series as dexter, how i met your mother, and 24.
i have seen every episode of the first two mentioned and am slowly working my way up on the third.
it is sad to watch a series end that you love. i myself love and hated scrubs. scrubs bothered me because of j.d. at times with his stupid behavior and elliot's idiotic behaviors as well. but i found myself watching the j.d. finally and possibly the series finally and reflecting on what an accomplishment at least for me to be able to say i have seen every episode of a series.
i am priding myself on doing that from now on, watching the pilot to the end. i have tried with a few shows like big love and have lost interest quickly. but when i find interest i am hooked.
i hope that the rumors are false and this is the end of scrubs, because most of the time spinoffs don't work. we see the exception in fraiser of cheers, or the csi: franchise. but we have also seen horrible spinoffs like that of joey that ultimately in my eyes tainted the friends franchise. we also have seen a horrible spin off of the golden girls....yes the golden girls. love it or hate it, i miss watching it with my grandma!
i just hope to find more series in the future that i can watch from start to finish and love or hate the characters, and after watching wish to watch again....i have only seen that so far in six feet under. a show that truly i will always watch any episode that is on. sure i will watch scrubs or csi or csi miami when it is on but six feet ill watch and relive the moments from when i first watched it.
call it rambling call it what you want, but i will sleep in peace now.
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22 songs you should know about in bob lees' eyes

these songs are in no order, but i feel that these songs at least in my life are needed in others. they have helped me through lots of things, some are new some are old. some describe times in my life some describe moods in my life. some are amazing some are not as amazing. but if i had a playlist in my life most of these songs would make it. it is hard to make a best of with new songs coming everyday and not remembering some songs. these are all from memory. i hope you enjoy. if not then i am sorry, but these songs always bring joy or memories to my life.
22. straylight run - existentialism on prom night
21. something corporate - ben franklin's kite
20. the airborne toxic event - somewhere around midnight
19. city and colour - waiting
18. new found glory - eyesore (acoustic)
17. the ataris - looking back on today
16. glycerine - bush
15. again i go unnoticed - dashboard confessional
14. play crack the sky - brand new
13. city and colour - sensible heart
12. apocolyptica - i don't care
11. brand new - soco armaretto lime
10. something corporate - konstantine
09. the early november - ever so sweet
08. pink floyd - wish you were here
07. senses fail - let it enfold you
06. kings of leon - use somebody
05. death cab for cutie - twin sized bed
04. damien rice - cold water
03. the used - smother me
02. damien rice - blower's daughter
01. straylight run - for the best
these are all song mostly that are not new, there isn't a huge variety as seen by multiple songs by the same artist. but i feel like this is a great playlist. i could listen to this playlist all day and night. please feel free to gauge your opinions on my playlist. what you like or don't like. i could sit and talk to anyone about common music all day and night. your opinions mean alot
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dreams or that sort.

in my lifetime, i have never had many dreams. everyone thinks of the american dream with the nuclear family. but me i never though about that. i figured my life would end up where it is, through a series of events. recently, i have been thinking about my life. this may be because of recent events, or because of my on-coming graduation in a year. but, i have since begun thinking of what i want to do. i think at this point i want to get a masters, whether it be in public policy or some form of political science. i want to do something. i don't want just a bachelor's. i have been reading a case study called "freshman orientation" written by a professor from emu about a republican named Joe Schwartz. by reading this, i have become so enthralled with wanting to be what this author is. i want to work for congressman, i want to make my views known. it has been the first time in my life that i have an ambition. in my life i have always gone through the motions, accepting mediocrity. and at this point a year before i am scheduled to graduate, i do not want this. i want to stand above and beyond typical people. i have been informed by a professor, of the opportunity to be had at a g.a. or graduate assistant. i think i could really benefit from this. i do not mind doing these sort of things. i think at this point, my main goal is to get a masters. to get my name out there. anyone that knows me would think different, but if i don't i will be the same person you all know me as. and well i do not want to be that person. wish me luck, help me out. but i want to be me i want to make this world better, i want to make a difference.

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school

so i am sitting in class not paying attention like always, when i decided to look at the masters programs for political science at emu. it seems very interesting to me and i may be able to do it. my cumulative gpa right now is 2.54. but that is with an e on my record. once the semester is over, i hope to have that e turn to an a. i started looking at my classes for next semester and beyond and became greatly excited. i will probably take one class over the spring/summer semesters at wcc, which will be my first class at a community college. it will only be online though, and the cost is about 70 per credit hour plus like another 21 bucks plus some taxes. so i am looking at under 500 ball park. which i think i could easily do. i also looked at what classes i still need, after this semester i can apply for the ug audit. hopefully i will get credit for some weird shit and will have to take less classes. that would be nice. basically i need 4 classes in my minor (public administration) a second english class which i will take at wcc, a speech class, a chemistry class, biology class, an art class and a physical education class. so basically 10 classes at 3 hrs a piece that is 30 hours. but ill take the one class this summer so it'll be 27 hours give or take a few. i am optimistic at this so woo for me.

a new job a new beginning

so this week i started at radio shack. i don't hate it but i don't love it. i get yelled at about offering the protection plan a certain way. i say do you want this, instead of we can cover this. whatever i don't have a problem getting it on stuff that should get it. but a 10 dollar sd card fuck that. it is rather boring though, there isnt always a steady flow of customers, so i must be alone with nascar nelson. so cheesy he is. we are forced to listen to jazz, while watching the speed channel, and listening to police scanners. in the 3 days i have listened to the scanners i have been rather upset. i don't think the general public should know the nature of a family's problems. i heard one thing today that someone was opening mail on another's porch who used to be their daughter-in-law. i find it almost disturbing how obsessed these people are for the scanners.
i also hate that i cant sit and talk to people for an hour about laptops or stuff i really know about. yea i do know some stuff, but like a guy wanted a tv from us, and although a good price it sucks. i want to just school him on all the benefits and stuff of it. i want to install his stuff too, maybe make some money on the side but i don't know if it is a conflict of interest chances are it is. but alls i would do is install routers, or look at their computers or set up their hdtv and stuff. ill look into it in the near future.
on another point, i worked at cabela's from 6am-10am came home slept for an hr and went and worked 12-8. it is money, and i am going to need this money in the near future.
my ebay business is slow, because i don't have the time to buy/sell like i did. and it is really sad because i really enjoyed doing that and still do.
i found it very funny, that i had to do a report on a memoir called 13 days by r.f. kenneddy. i literally only read 50 pages and got an a on the paper.

i also had an exam in my asian politics class and i can't understand the woman's english. i give her credit for trying but it is so hard to follow her. i spend my time writing powerpoints down. she sends tons of articles and tells us to read chapters. i have not read any of it and instead read wikipedia and well i got a b- on it and im happy because all the people studied so hard. i sometimes wonder my true potential if i cared enough or had the mental capacity to study for hours on end.

we'll see how the coming weeks go. i remain optimistic for things to shape up but who knows what will happen.

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an odd form of thinking

we all think in our own ways, in our own places. mine although can be classified as weird, (don't judge me) is the bathtub. i have taken baths over showers ever since i can remember. the showers happen occasionally, but lately i have taken to baths more often than not. i think of many things from what i am doing tomorrow to where i want to be in a few months from now. tonight's thoughts surrounded my starting of a new job tomorrow. i am anxious and can't remember ever being more worried or scared. i don't know why, but i know what is expected of me and i don't think i will be able to do that. there are certain things that i hate, that i can't stand in stores and that is a pushy sales associate. i will have to become that and if i do not will be forced to look for different employment in a few months. i don't want to be that guy. i want to talk to people and want them to buy what is needed and not what they should need. i've never been that great under types of pressure like that although my days in technology would say otherwise. i look oddly forward to seeing how this will pan out. but am worried that i will not make the cut.

i wish i had some money, like enough to have maybe a little debt but not at what i have now. there are many things i have been thinking of purchasing if i had the money to. one would be a broken macbook pro on ebay. why would i chose this? because i can get one for roughly have the cost, and if it is a hard drive failure that is only like a 100 dollar fix, same if it is just a broken screen. you can get a lot of good deals like that on ebay. i bought an old mac and am waiting on the part to fix it.

im excited for a new how i met your mother. it has been awhile since i have seen a new episode.

that is all for today
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appearances are misleading..

so i got the job at radio shack. am i happy about it absolutely not. i in some ways am forced to take this job. i know i should be thankful for having a job in this economy, but of course i am not. maybe it is my pessimistic views on life, or maybe it isn't. i feel like i have always been pessimistic no matter what situation is at hand. i am unsure at this point if that will ever change. or if i really want it to change. because when you start to think of everything as bad than you aren't let down when that happens. if you are always high on things being great, than it is a bigger let down.

i had to go home today to get a cat scan on my head. the reason being for this is that i get headaches on a daily basis, and no matter what i do they really don't go away. i am sure it is nothing, but what if it is? that in some ways scares me.

i'm still extremely stressed and i do not see a clear end in sight for that stress to discontinue. it really sucks, i wish things would shape up and that things would change and go back to what they used to be. but the reality of that is definitely uncertain and at this point does not seem to be able to occur.

i guess in other words i am just not happy. who knows

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The Return

I have come into some information today, that one of my favorite bands, blink 182 is coming back and better than ever. this band although not my all time favorite band, launched me into every band that i have listened to to this day in the punk/emo type genre. they have done wonders for me and have created a huge branch almost like a family tree for me and my listening tastes. i am so greatful that they are coming back and can't wait to see them in concert and listen to their new music.

in other news i have been watching a lot of movies lately, oscar time means a large quantity of dvd screeners. so far i have seen Gran torino, tropic thunder, religulous, milk, rachel getting married, the wrestler, doubt, and possibly more but i cannot think of them off the top of my head at this moment.

Gran Torino, was very well made and makes Eastwood stil llook like a bad ass, however his grunting is kind of weird.
Tropic Thunder was very stupid, but funny and i would like to see it again. Downey Jr. has come back!
Religulous was like a Michael Moore film, completely one-sided but still very informative and makes you think.
Milk was a film i might not normally see but glad that i have. i knew nothing about him, had i known more i would be able to make a better judgement
Rachel Getting Married, was another movie i might not normally see, but it was pretty decent and gave a good insight into what a family really is. i still am indifferent about it for some reason though.
The Wrestler was a decent movie given how much i've watched wrestling and read about it, it gave an accurate portrayal of people and what they will do to get back into the big time again.
Doubt was a decent movie but also left me with various questions. it was implied that he did it, but did he? makes the crowd wonder. and Streep well she played a good bitch!
taken was a decent movie, but i'll take a quote from Bowditch in that it was hard to see Nessan* as a bad ass. he just wasn't fit for that role.


that is all for now.
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three's

my mind is racing with thoughts. but when i go to put them in typing my mind thinks it is a different language. a lot has been on my mind lately. it seems that one thing has opened a pandora's box of sorts. it has made me think of repressed memories, and why i don't think about them.
i am worried about my niece. from what i gathered, she has some type of respiratory virus, it may be nothing but she is like 7 months old and i worry.
this is senseless rambling

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year and a half to go

so i have about a year and a half to go until i graduate with a bachelor's in poli sci and a minor in public administration. knowing i only have a year and a half is bittersweet. i will finally be able to possibly start a career. but i have no idea if i even want to get into that field. i do not want to switch majors because it would mean more schooling. and as student loans start to pile i am eager to finish. i have begun thinking if after i graduate will i move or not? i know i will not move closer to home if anything it would be further away. to where? i have no idea.

i am also fearful of the coming months, i have not received my official hiring in at cabela's and my seasonal leave started on the 27th. technically it doesn't end until the end of this month but i have not worked since the 26th.

i can make a decent amount of change from ebay auctions and what not but i do not know if it will be enough. it is very scary in some ways to not know when you will get another paycheck when u have rent and debt piling up as each minute passes.

in unrelated notes, did anyone see dick clark on nye? i found it almost painful to watch his count down, and felt that seacrest was a total douche. dick clark is a legend in his own mind and i have begun to agree with people that he should hang it up. it is extremely sad when you see a man who can barely talk correctly because of a stroke still try to do his job. i do however commend his work for the last whatever amount of years.

i also think it is time for joe pa to hang it up for the same amount of reasons. he is holding that school hostage.

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