dedication.

it seems the world is crashing down once more. the job i was offered was contingent on the passing of a drug test and background check. i took the drug test on wednesday. and while i hadnt done any drugs since july 1st it still is in my system. i know im not the most healthy individual out there but past tests were beat in less time than that. it was a job that couldve doubled my income. and once again i failed at it. i think life is starting to become one giant failure after another. whether it's failing a drug test, or not being able to get a fulltime job, or finishing college with a shitty gpa. i guess i never thought of the repercussions that graduating with a 2.6 gpa would do. i cant even really go back to school to get a masters because of the low gpa. im sick of all this. i cant even afford to pay my bills anymore. the holes getting dug deeper with no end in sight. it just hurts me to think what i couldve been and what i am now. it sucks. drinking would help cure some things but i cant even afford to do that. something needs to change and soon. im trying my hardest to make a better life for myself. i believe in karma, and judging by my negative karma ive been a pretty shitty person. which i dont think i really am. but apparently in the karma aspect im getting what i deserve. and well i dont wish this on anyone. it needs to change.

12:!0