i have said this before. but this week has been the best in a really long time. i've summarized it earlier. but tonight was great. great friends, great talks, great conversations. just great. why has it taken me almost 3.5 months to realize that this year is mine. i said in my first post that it could be my year. to finally blossom. after two months, i just didnt think it would be. but i guess in some ways, when one hits what they think is the bottom. they can only go up. so maybe that's me.

this evening, someone i knew asked what i have been up to. i said my usual "just living the dream" they asked what dream was that. i couldn't give them an answer.

why i couldn't? because at my age and as a male, my dreams are weird. i want to grow up. get married. have some amazing kids. come home every day, thinking. wow i made it. waking up every day next to the most beautiful girl to me. me waking up next to her asking myself, she chose me. secretly i will laugh to myself, but deep down am so happy. i can have the shittiest job in the world, but as long as i can come home every day and see the people who mean most to me, ill be a good guy.

everyone says i need to find my purpose. i really hope to find it.

!2:10