i really am having a hard time with words tonight. i have plenty of thoughts. way more than i could ever fathom. so ill do my best to say them correctly.
i needed songs to listen to as i write it. jack's mannequin came to mind.
why you ask? because jm symbolizes what i have done after the htp. soco was the htp. while i still love soco more, i realize that jm is where they are because of the shit andrew went through, i cannot hate them for it.
it is hard to really put my love life or lack there of in a blog anymore. confusion is my one word to say on it.
what do i want? maybe not now but soon. i want love. i want love that wont be a struggle, i want someone that i wont have to adjust most things for. small things are ok. but just i donno, i want love. i really do. maybe i am not ready for it but let me decide it.
i'm not ready for kids because of my job situation, and monetary one. but do i wish i could have them? hell yes!
it doesn't help when i see a photo of my niece and i almost cry because i am so happy to see her.
i feel the 100th blog. will be that of a reflection on the first 100 blogs. it is only right. ill start on it now
!2:10
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