have you ever had a certain phrase that always rings true to anything that has ever happened? although i drink a lot and am content with that one phrase has always maintained truthfulness. that is what the title of this blog is. there have been so many times in my life i have come home drunk at my mother's and begun to spit off everything in life. i think with all the drunk conversations i have had i could write a book. basically the last posts i have done are late at night when i have time to reflect on the days' events.
not much happened today except i got to see probably my best friend and his wife start to welcome their first child in life. it was only the baby shower. it was my first and i felt so awkward. but if it hadn't been that friend's baby shower or a select few i would not have attended. i woke up drunk this afternoon, after a long night of drinking. had to drive an hour for the shower and although when i got there i felt out of it. i also felt like it was something truly amazing. don't get me wrong i love my niece and her being born was simply amazing, but i am so much closer with my friend than my brother. it is odd but i feel like it is the same for him as well. i felt like if i hadn't gone today it would have been one of the worst things i have ever done. him and i both lost our fathers at too young of an age, and although it has come up maybe once in the existence of our friendship it doesn't need to. there's a mutual understanding that life sucks.
in my life there has been the absence of a best friend for plenty of years, but in the last one i have come content with calling him that.
it is one of those things that is sacred to me. i have a hard time telling my mom i love her. i have a hard time showing any affection even if it is a hug between mutual friends. i never initiate hugs, and rarely give a kiss on the check. it is such an odd thing for me to ever do that to anyone.
i've rambled too much for one night
!2:10
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