i had truly wanted to get to 200 before my birthday, i was 10 off. i have been busy new job and life has kept me from writing. today is or was my birthday. i never used to look forward to it, today i did. whether it was my brother visiting or other guests i was excited. ive had so much death and heartache near my birthday i could never celebrate it. maybe it is the alcohol that comes into ones system and makes them feel different.

it had been so long since i got so angry. i try to control it i truly do, sometimes i shake. i just try to breathe. it wasnt anything that dealt with me persee tonight but i just has to. two hits is all i need. sorry knuckles

just truly trying to hold it all together.

!2:10