fear

over the past year i have very rarely been happy. this past week i have smiled on the inside for once. i have started to become the guy i wish i always was. happy and just lovable. i am tired of the hurt the pain that i always feel. finally this is starting to fade. my left hand has full range of motion my hand isn't swollen and i am smiling. i am so scared it wont stay up. i really am. i just want to be happy i love being happy i love just loving someone for loving me. i want this i truly do. ill do anything to make it work. i just want it to.

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