i know this is bad, but lately i've though about life. i don't feel like i drink too much but friends as well as my body tell me different. my stomach as of late has been terrible. from what i gathered it is an ulcer. everyone says get it checked out.

but to be completely honest, i'm scared. i never get myself checked out and if you know me well then you realize im constantly in pain whether it is my knee my back or my throat. my dad died at such a young age and he knew about it. granted he lived a life like most would want, not thinking about it and knowing full well he'd never see us grow up. granted his was probably different than mine, but i am still scared as all hell. if i die young i dont want to know it is happening. i love my father's choices for being with us always and doing everything he could, but i dont know if that could or is me. frankly i am just scared.

!2:10

A Summer to Remember

My usual trip to Hessel, Michigan signals the end of summer. this summer was the best by far, i have done so many things that i had never done before and have done things i love doing.

Highlights:
1. NCAA Final Four for lacrosse.
it was a one of a kind experience shared with some close friends i have known for years. it was something i would have loved to do sooner and cant wait to do more of.
2. The Callis Wedding
it had been coming for years, and it finally happened. it was an amazing wedding with my family and friends.
3. My Birthday
AS per usual i was drunk off my ass and got to share it with some pretty great people. i was in bed by midnight and the company behind it was just simply amazing.
4. the 2nd Annual Beer Olympics
wore a kilt, drank lots of beer and made a fool of myself.
5. Chicago Trip 2010
Beer and subway. enough said
6. Ypsilanti Beer Festival
my first time being around here for this fabulous event in which i tried many different beers and showed some friends what it is like to drink all day.
7. Bud Bash 2010
this was my second appearance at the bud bash, it was a lot more conservative but still a lot of fun.
8. Raft off 2010
this was my first time attending and it turned out to be such a great day, i love the water i love the sun, i love beer.
9. and finally, Hessel
this was one of my favorite experiences so far. it was my first time spending 24/7 with my niece and nephew and brother and sister in law and mom in quite long time. i loved seeing my niece just run around the entire time and only taking naps when i tell her to. i loved her waking me up every day and ethan and i's sword fights. lots of drinks and lots of bonding was had.

so what did this summer hold for me? lots of friends lots of drinking and most of all a summer to remember.

!2:10

this trip is always something that can make my whole life change. ive came here since i was six that was 21 yrs ago but with a few year lay off in high school. this place is everyhing for me. my tattoo stems from a fish that my father and i caught. as ive grown older and my fellow hotelmates,have gotten married and had kids it still feels so amazing to be here. every night i try to go to the end of the dock and just take everything in. it's so great to see second generation cousins and my neice and nephew; ive never had my heart melt as it does when lilah says nooooo buttterrrr. im never around i get that. but when i have this week i never want to be without ej and my lilah. i wanna fall asleep as her big spoon ive gotten her to sleep a few days. i love it. i miss being around them, but uncle butter has to do what he has to do

12:10

so one of the greatest things about having the internet again is so that i can blog once more. so many times ive had so many things to say, but have found myself thinking if i write this then save it to post later, ill just erase it. tonight is the first night ive been able to sit down and just write the way i want. this past month has been a great kickoff to a new year of myself. but with the life in front of me, i have nothing to write right now.

the year in review.

i wrote this on the 30th but didnt put it in place, so i back dated it

Ive been thinking for a few days on what to write as I do on or near my birthday and have decided to write this evening. In the past year I have seen many things change. I have started to become more family oriented and make more frequent stops at home even if it is for a few hours. Relationships have come close to starting but nothing worth really noting. In the past year I have had 3 jobs radio shack, cabela’s and now Acosta. It took almost 2-3 months to get Acosta and it is an amazing job. I am still the same broke ass man as I was last year. Maybe a little wiser as to life experiences. I’ve started new friendships with some and closer friendships with others. I’ve been camping, to Hessel, Chicago, Cleveland, Baltimore on various vacations and new life experiences. I’ve seen tons of red wings games, tigers games, and finally saw my first U of M football game. Ive drank many days away and smoke many of bowls on days. I feel like I’ve started to find myself more as a person which I have lacked. It has taken years but finally I am starting to set and keep goals to live by. People have been taken away for various understood reasons, I feel like this year wasn’t the worst and was better than my 22 or even my 21 year. If that means anything then it is a various improvement. 24 ill finally graduate college, finally take the long cross country trip I want. Finally start my life. So what can I say about the past year? It was good, see you later.
What do I hold out for me this year? Friends, family, love, drinking, and plenty of stories for me to write about.
Happy birthday to me.
the song of my year can be none other than Death Cab For Cutie’s performance from Bonnaroo in 2008 of Transatlanticism.

!2:10

my life is life. never great, never terrible.
but i'd be lost without you in it.

!2:10

i had one of the best times with my brother and callis last weekend at my niece's 2nd birthday party. we drank all day but casually, made fun of brandy mostly and i got to hang out with my lilah bug. ethan was a lot of fun that day too. later in the evening we decided it was a good idea to shoot ethan's red ryder bbgun in chris' basement and have ethan set up the targets. he did and we wore sunglasses and then moved on to shooting animal crackers. then i went to the bar and met up with some friends that i usually dont hang out with. a pleasant change of pace.

i havent been all that bad lately. i think my internet being shut off is somewhat a blessing in disguise. i dont use my computer that much which has cut down on my facebooking. my only drawback is missing out on conversations with people that i usually dont talk to outside of facebook. but all in all it is a truly good thing.

i'm also not chasing after a girl for the first time in a long while. once again a good change of pace

i'm finally excited to be done with school in decemeber, i really fucked up last semester and i don't plan on fucking up again, after all i have 2 cases of beer riding on getting a 3.0

that is all for now.

!2:10